The Dark Side of the Ph.D. Journey: Fear of Failure
I am writing this letter to you because I want to tell you about the dark side you will enter when you plan to enroll in the Ph.D. program related to science. I believe that my journey is to discover myself and reinvent her. Anyway, I crossed the dark sideline and found that the situations that happened to me resulted from fear of failure. Yes, I'm afraid of failing. Writing about it is like a cure/treatment to heal me from doubt, judgment, loss, anger, confusion, depression, and guilt, raising my confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem.
I like organic chemistry is like a game to me. However, organic chemistry on paper is different from applying it in the lab. It's easy to draw your chemical product on paper, but in reality, it depends on the conditions, so be prepared for it. My field of study is challenging and requires building better mental health to survive. Still, I noticed procrastination's shadow because of many failures I faced.
Once I asked myself: "Why do you procrastinate?" The answer was FEAR planted from looking for perfection. Fear causes hidden anxiety-harvesting, and It's challenging to cope. It's tough to repeat your experiments, get terrible results, find another procedure, and try again; it's tough.
I like to tell you a small note: collaboration over the competition and the fuel of motivation is either fear or reward; choose wisely. Accept that you are a human with feelings and be ready to meet people who push you forward, help you, try to punish you, and sometimes ignore you.
However, surround yourself with people who realize your value and love to take care of during your studies. Your journey is all about your thoughts and feelings, and you are entirely different from the others.
Listen, take what is benefits you, and leave.